WHEN TEMPESTS RAGE WITHOUT WARNING.

The Tempest Poem

The tempest has a restless heart
And a turbulent soul
And never will her fury end
Until she has complete control.

Her savage winds, they rake the earth
Her omnipotent gale, is
Guided by her careful hands, and
Never will she fail.

Even the clouds cry out to her
Like the trees who moan so wearily
'Will you never stop, Tempest?
Will you never cease? '

The tempest, she ignores them
But then turns back in a whirl
With a vengeful conscience
And an angry snarl

'Never, never, never! Never, not until, I have the world within my grasp, and then I'll have it all.'

Then with a roar, a scream, a growl, she turned back upon,
Them and said, 'Not until the whole world is in my hands, and the whole world I only have.'

Sara Dickson 

Excerpt from A Momentary Madness by Lynn Marie Ramjass 

Fall 1976

I found my mother’s room. Uncertain as to what I was going to say when I saw her. Would she feel anger or disappointment, or both, to awaken and find she was still alive? Would she feel guilt for what she'd attempted to do  before I found her? 

I approached her bed slowly and drew back the hospital curtain around her bed. All the anger and bitterness, I previously felt towards her that evening suddenly dissipated.

When I saw her lying there fragile, weak, and asleep. None of that seemed to matter anymore. My feelings were irrelevant.

Though I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and gratitude she hadn’t died, and I wanted so much to understand why she had done what she did. I knew, deep down, now wasn’t the time, or the place.

I stood at her bedside for a few moments and quietly watched her sleep. I observed the steady rise and fall of her chest. A lock of her chestnut brown wavy hair clung to her damp forehead. I softly brushed it away with the side of my hand. Then gently stroked her cheek with my forefinger. Her complexion was far paler than I had ever known. Her skin clammy to my touch. Soon her eyelids fluttered slightly and gradually she opened her dark brown eyes. Her face expressionless. She seemed to stare right past me. It was as though I wasn’t there, or she hadn’t recognized me at first.

I leaned over and gently kissed her brow.

“Water! I need some water” she said in a thick raspy voice. Her lips were dry and cracked.

I retrieved a jug of water and a dixie cup from a nearby table and poured some for her. Then placed my left hand under her back and helped raise her to a semi seated position. I held the small cup to her lips with my right hand.

“Small sips” I told her.

Her left hand trembled violently as she placed it over mine. She drank from the cup eagerly When she’d had enough to drink, I placed the cup back down on the hospital table top, my back was to the door. My mother’s face suddenly darkened. It had become distorted and ugly. Her eyes were angry and cold as ice.

“What do you want?” she growled with such venom in her voice. It sent a shiver down my spine. I realized she was not speaking to me but beyond me.

I turned to see my father as he stood in the doorway across the room. Stark still, save for his habit of rubbing his knuckles on his left hand whenever he was nervous or guilty of something. And rightfully so this evening. I didn’t know if I could ever forgive him for it. His lack of concern for my mother and his children.

“What do you mean what do I want? “What kind of question is that?” he asked sheepishly as he closed the curtain behind him and approached my mother’s bedside. As if to give us some privacy. But I was certain those waiting in the outer room could hear the verbal battle that ensued between them. Even now, their long and dispiriting war with one another continued, and I was caught in the middle, as usual.  

“I came to see that you were okay!” he told my mother.

My mother scoffed and looked away. The disdain, disgust or borderline hatred clear in her eyes. 

 “You certainly took your time didn’t you?” I heard myself snarl.

I didn’t want my mother to know what occurred between me and my siblings, but particularly between me my father in the parking lot, whilst hospital personnel were busy working to keep her alive.

Lynn Marie.

tbc