"Between what is said and not meant,
And what is meant and not
said,
Most of love is lost."
Kahil Gibran
They say you cannot miss what you never had. But that simply isn't true. Both me, and I would venture to say, my sons know differently.
One day, whilst alone by her pool this summer 2022, my daughter in law Suzanne turned to me and said: "It seems you fought your whole life for your parents' love!"
And in that moment, a lump formed in my throat, tears filled my eyes, and I couldn't speak. Overcome by the rarity that someone saw me, knew me, and understood me so well.
Uninterrupted conversations between women are rare. There is always some task at hand, someone or something to attend to. That day between us was so unexpected.
I cannot recollect anything apart from the look on her face, the gentle tone of her voice, as her words floated from her lips to my ears.
There was a sadness that lingered between us, for the little girl in this 65 year old body.
I can bear sadness and regret and even longing. But it was pity that I disdained.
Though I did not feel she pitied me. I knew she loved, respected, and admired me despite my shortcomings.
Suzanne's always had a calming affect on others. Drawn them in with a warm personality and smile. A keen intelligence and open mind. Gentle natured, loving, and kind.
Much is a testament to her parents and her upbringing. But even more so to the quintessential essence of her being.
It is her heart, mind, and soul that make her what I call and write about frequently.
She is a lightbearer, truthseeker, and peacekeeper. I was aware of this from the moment I met her when she was a young girl of sixteen.
There is a luminosity about these individuals. I've luckily met many in my lifetime. They are teachers, mentors, and guides. Often unaware of it themselves. The loving lessons they teach with compassion, empathy, and authenticity.
Sometimes I miss the days when we chatted freely together unhindered by so many responsibilities.
It is gifts such as that rare afternoon, that are so precious to me and I cherish most. The time we share with those we most love, and who love us in return. Loved ones who want to be together and are not forced. Relationships that work both ways!
I write what I think and feel because I can say so eloquently with my pen, what I would stumble to convey verbally.
I get distracted so easily.
Lynn Marie
Dec 7, 2022
